Annoying Part I

Below is the breed that sends my blood surging to my head, makes me slap my forehead and take my shotgun out of the closet..


Peeping Toms - These people have this insatiable hunger to peep at the drop of every hat. Their favorite haunt is into your computer screen just as you are checking your email in office or booking a train ticket. "Abey !! 243 waiting list hai. Teri ticket pucca confirm nahi hogi. Mein apne dad ke friend se baat karta hoon." Know what... BEAT IT BIAATTCCHH !!! Your two cents in your arse. I'd rather cancel my ticket and walk all the way to Delhi than listen to you bragging about your good-for-nothing networking skills. You better be watching your drawers in office than watching your neighbour's screen coz yours truly might soon lay a baby Boa Constrictor in between your files.


PDA - Trying to feel your girlfriend's ass ,which in first place is a BLOODY HUGE pile of protoplasm, is not funny. Think about the public who must this watch gory act of lovemaking...those tiny ones who walk around the mall while you are digging into the Desi Queen Latifah. What about your girlfriend? Imagine the agony she feels while you are on ecstasy. Really dude !! Get a Rs 350/day 24 hours checkout lodge near the Bus stand that have blood stained bedsheets and bed bugs. Most likely.. a grainy 3.2 mpx video of your cute act would pop-up on websites of tamilsex and desibaba ( wait.. does desibaba still exist? Been a while since I checked the website..hmmm )


Poser Smokers - These breed will suck the smoke out of your lungs. Your cigarette ? Heh.. He/she already snatched it as soon as you lit it. Never the one to buy smokes, these hyenas are so annoying...I'd rather take the lit end of the cigarette and stub it in their eyes. Dude... Wills Goldflake is 5 bucks !! Damn !! Just buy it and smoke. I wonder if they ever smoke alone as they are hand-partying with their fantasies !!

Eerie moment Part - I

Last exam ( hopefully I clear all my papers ) of my MBA and as I submit the paper to the invigilator, the adrenaline rush is overwhelming. As per plan, 2 BHK was supposed to get some London Pilsners a.k.a LP's to the room right after exam and more importantly, the culmination of the 2 year paid vacation. We will get back to 2 BHK a little later.

I meet my girlfriend near the cafeteria just like we did after every exam since Sem 1. I tell her my plans. As usual, she's cool and tells me to have a good time. So I run back to my room. The family is already waiting and good to go. Adi takes out his car while Chacha takes my bike. 6 of us packed like sardines in the Maruti Swift and tripping on the Hate Song, we reach the calm cool confines of Sheetal. Having picked up our LP, we head to Palone and start the chugs. The heat was on.

2 BHK were two rooms in the hostel known for their green ideologies which helped yours truly secure a job in a leading Carbon Consulting firm. Countless gifts of Maggi given by the Old Monks talking mildly under the red bulb sun, these two rooms were testimony to fun, frolic, insanity, havoc with Fit attacks, discuss throw competition with empty beer bottles, double entendre dialogues in Marathi with the Dictator ..err Director (Dada Khondke would be mighty proud with us), guitar jams, erotic art and most importantly... lots of grey cell stimulating conversation. However, what happened that day during some beer sipping left me with ambivalent feelings.

So yeah... One bottle down and we weren't satisfied. Chacha (He's the man... hell he deserves another blog post) answers his call of duty and heads back to get some more. As we chat, a kid not more than four.... maybe five walks to me and tugs my pant. She wanted the bottle. Stupified.. I looked in horror. Pretty soon, I realized she wanted the empty bottle. It was a no-brainer. Her ragged cloths and cracked heels screamed MONEY. Money she could get with those empty beer bottles traded with the Raddhiwalla.

Chacha is back in no time with the second crate of LP. We start chugging as a goods train chugs along the railway track closeby. By now, the little girl watching us has company. In no time, her pals-in-rags eye our bottles. They sense hostility from our end. However, we had none and empty our bottles. The good old habit of throwing the beer bottle is curbed. The bottles are passed to the children. Adi starts chattering in Marathi with the kids. Seems their folks had gone out for daily wage work and the kids were on their own.

Chacha heads back on the bike for a third time. However, no beer bottles this time when he returned. Armed with a dozen guavas, some snacks and chips, he distributes it equally amongst the kids who clearly show signs of Kwashiorkor and Rickets.

Soon, we head back to our 2 BHK for a much needed siesta. With Colin Edwin's basswork in the background, I wonder what provoked Chacha. Having known him for two years, I had never seen this side of him. Our conversation revolved around our lives, women, music, films and where we were headed after MBA. What he did that day, left me speechless and confused.

It was a strange feeling that I can't explain. Perhaps, I can never put it in words. With the sickening poverty rates in our country, we don't know how much difference this post makes. That day, the small act from Chacha made a difference to those kids on that day nonetheless.

Sexual Harassment - A Different Story

As I switch on Winamp and listen to the Frank Zappa classic instrumental "Sexual Harassment at workplace" my thoughts go back to this much debated subject.

Hang him !!! He deserve to DIE !!

The above statement is true for a man called DIG Rathore a.k.a Ruchika's rapist and murderer. However, media and in turn society perceives all MEN = RAPISTS

Agreed there are some psychotic guys who believe in getting the sacred Punaani by force rather than earning for it or paying. They make cheesy comments at women - be it road, workplace, educational institutes or places of worship.

However, the media never reports how men are sexually harassed. Try calling a lady SEXY at workplace in the morning. In about 15 minutes, you would be giving your exit interview. But a woman can do that to a guy.

There have been cases of women harassing their husbands with threats of suicide. Slashing their wrists and reporting to the Police. The reason... He refused to buy her a jewelry set. I'm not kidding !! This happened to my colleague from office. Is this is sexual harassment or blackmail ? I don't know.

Sexual Harassment is prevalent in our society and this not just confined to men abusing women verbally or physically. It does happen the other way around as well.

Advice Anyone ?!

Visualize this : You are solving a sudoku puzzle while travelling in a bus. The person next to you peeps into your puzzle and tells you," Why haven't you filled the the top right box. That's a certain 7." Much to your chagrin, you force a smile and mutter,"Gee thanks."

How often has this happened to you in other spheres of life ?! I speak for myself and I would say ALWAYS. As kids, your folks tell you to go easy on those chocolates and eat lots of spinach like Popeye. Fine. Maybe they have a point. ( I ate lots of chocolates and Spinach as I loved chocolates and spinach )

Your student days and everyday you get advice. Study well. Take Science with computers. Join the Brilliant Tutorial classes and crack IITJEE. Work for two years and drop a year for CAT. Get into IIMA and join Mckinsey. If you happen to be a commerce student - Get good grades and join SRCC. Did you read the news about that boy getting a 32 lakh package ?!! Beta... you can do it. You must do C.A. Look at Sharma uncle's son. He's with E&Y !! Well, neither did I go to SRCC ( Joined Madras Christian College and mighty proud to be an MCCian ) nor did I do C.A.

When I was 16 or 17, I decided to join a Gym. Those toned muscles got you girlfriends you see !! First day, one of the well built guys working out tells me what to do. So I did 3 sets of benchpress - Flat, inclined and reclined followed by 100 sit ups and 20 pushups and finally some dumbbells for my biceps and triceps ( yeah that twisted rod!!). Those were the last days of gym. The good ol' jog, pushups and crunches work just fine for me.

Ever noticed a group of women shopping. Nahi yaar !! Don't buy that top. Your bust won't be accentuated. Go for that black top. Won't make you look fat. How can you go for such hideous yellow belles ?! Stick to that indigo. So all your hopes of buying that nice looking top go for a tossed salad.

I played a lot of Cricket in my school days; the opening bowler of my school team (with all due modesty). My first game, I bowl three good balls, get the batsmen out on the fourth ball of a no-ball. Next ball he smacks me for a four through covers. Gah !! the whole team including skipper comes and tells me to go around the wicket and bowl an inswinging yorker wide of the crease ( people familiar with cricket - imagine a left armer (me) bowling such a line to a southpaw ). I told him to buzz off !! Next ball, a slower half volley and he gets a leading edge that lands short of the fielder at Cover point.

My point here is everyone gives you advice... however, do you really need it ?!

For me, I'm a selective guy. Keep my options open and go ahead with what my instinct tells me.

To quote the great Oscar Wilde -Advice is like mushroom... the wrong ones can be fatal

Smile/laugh please

A smile ain't cost nothing. You don't have to make an effort to smile. While some have a monstrous laugh (including yours truly), it is a smile that is treasured.


Just when you are lost an important file, document, USB drive and someone finds it, the emotion experienced is that one of relief and there is a smile.

Smiles are genuine and fake

Smiles are right and left.
Smiles are big and small
Smiles are heavy and light.

Moments when I have smiled.

  When you went to an ice cream parlour, the kid in the next table licks the melted ice cream cone. You wonder when was the last time you ate an ice cream like the kid. All the nostalgia sinks in.

When I cracked up what I thought was a funny joke and I burst out laughing. Then, I notice... no one is laughing. To cover up, I laugh loud enough to make the other people worry about the sonic levels. Suddenly, the whole group erupts in laughter. Now I had a smile on my face.

Looking back at all the snaps clicked while I was drunk !!

Watching Jackass I & II. Some scene were bizarre while the others were gory. Still fun watch

My first day in a B-School

I land up in Pune city 10 pieces of luggage. This includes a bass guitar, a bass amp and 2 huge suitcases. Seeing my luggage, a kind autowallah suggests that I take an auto for flat 200 bucks. Geez !! 200 rupees for a distance of 6 kms !! I politely agreed considering I didn't have much choice. Finally, reached the gates of the Institute. Get a room on the 4th floor ( Room number 408).

With the lifts not working, I had to lug all the luggage four stories.

As I meet my new roommates, seniors come barking into my room. "What's your name?" Another one shoots, "Go get a SIMS cut."

Now a SIMS cut is the official haircut for a first year student in SIMS. All you need to do is walk to Ideal hairdressers and tell them, "Boss .. SIMS cut please." The guy at the saloon gives you a wry smile and takes an electric shaver and starts trimming your hair. Before you realize, you like a NDA cadet !!

I head back with my new hairdo and pick up some snacks on the way. Being in hostel, one needs a midnight snack. My all time favorite are Parle G glucose biscuits. Armed with four packets of biscuits, I reach my room and after a quick shower, settle in my room. My roommates are all asleep. I play around with my newly acquired toy - A HP Compaq laptop. Damn !! I had a laptop all for myself and I try acquaint myself with MS Excel.

Come evening and my roommates are awake. We get talking about our roots, education, work ex. Dinner time and we head for the Mess. The seniors are waiting for us and make the whole batch huddles into one small room above the mess. We are made to wait for about 30 mins and then they let us go.

I was really tired and was all set to hit the sack and BANG !! Some asshole kicks the door and barks, "Get your ass to 404.. in formals." Yeah right... this was all I needed. Anyway, I go to the room and we are asked to do all stupid shit... Play cricket with my bum, sing a joke ( heh.. ever heard that ?)

Finally came back to my room at 4 am. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I felt funny inside.

When I graduate in April 2010, I would look back at this first day with ambivalent feelings.

Pondy bites .............

1st September 2007 is a memorable day in my life. The first ever show by my band "PANDEMONIUM". What an awesome day !!!

After an intense jam for over 5 days, we were all set for our journey to JIPMER, Puduchery. Anirudh Menon had given me call earlier that month asking me if I was interested in an audition. I said, " Yeah.. cool ". So, we met up on 20 August in Hudstin's place. Now... I really didn't know what to play. Anirudh starts playing some riffs and soon I joined in. The first song was ready in 15 mins flat !! LOL

On 1st morning, Anirudh Menon a.k.a Appu( guitarist n Vox) came over to my place by 8am. We head for Ayyappan temple next to my home. The agnostic Sid had died sometime back and hence the temple scene. When and why the agnostic streak in me died, I'll save it for some other time :-)

With all the equipment ( guitars and pedals ... no no.. not cycle pedals :-p), we make it Koyembedu Bus Terminus. Meet up with Hudstin a.k.a Hudy ( drummer) and John a.k.a Johnny boy a.k.a Donkey balls :-D. Board the local bus by 9 am and pretty much sleep during the rickety ride in the TNSRTC Bus.

The bus ride was back breaking. For some reason, the bus driver won't cross 60 kph limit. Gah !!! Just what we needed. We finally reach Puducherry (Pondycherry then ) and head straight to JIPMER. Electrifying atmosphere !! We reach the area where the Western Electrics were supposed to happen. We quickly go the registration desk to get registered.

Until this point of time, we had never thought about a band name. The girl at the reception barks. " BAND NAME ?" Appu and Hudy give me blank expressions. They are like, " you better come up with a band name." After precisely 10 seconds of quick flashes in the head, I say "Pandemonium". Hell yeah.. So Pandemonium it was \m/ .We draw chits and we got number 12. Don't know if that meant 12th band on stage coz if someone didn't pick numbers in between, we could technically be the first band on stage !!!

Registration done and we decide to grab a snack and put some drinks. Took us a while to find a place to hang out since most of the shops were closed for some reason. In a while, we got talking about music and women. Two hot topics when guys are drinking.

Tanks filled... now it was time to hit the stage. At this point of time, I must admit, the whole occasion scared me. The platform is one of the most prestigious after IIT Saarang. Lots of bands, who made a name for themselves in the Indian Rock scene, started their journey here on this stage.

The bands start going on stage. Amazing sound on stage and P.A. Finally, it was our turn. I plug my bass into the amp. The light on stage suddenly dimmed and we start our sound check with BLIND ( KoRn). Passive crowd in front of stage didn't affect our enthusiasm. Pandemonium was on stage for some fun.

We play two own comps - Distress Freeway and the other song. Why is it named " The other song"... I don't know. Maybe Mr Menon has an answer.As we finish the second song, the PA had been cut. We get off stage all pumped up. Hudy struggles with his double bass pedals. Everyone is tired and exhausted.

By now, we were broke with just enough money to get back to Madras. The show gets over at about 2 am. All of us are eagerly waiting for the results. Best drummer, best guitarist... yada yada ... then they announce.... Best Bassist... SIDDARTH HARSHA


With all due respect to other musicians present that day, I wasn't really surprised when the results were announced. My job was to keep it simple and tight. That day, there were bass guitarists who slapped, popped, tapped on their bass guitars and jumped on stage like possessed kangaroos. I just did my job and it feels good that the judges understood this fact :-)

We go and collect my prize money and certificates. Rs 500 was the cash prize. This was used to get a copy of the whole show on a DVD which was 300 bucks ( JIPMER are good businessmen for sure !! ) and the rest 200 bucks was used to sponsor food and beverages.

The trip back home was quite hazy since I couldn't sleep. There was a TIME MOCKCAT waiting for me as well.

On the whole, a memorable trip thanks to Appu, Hudy and John ( macha.. you're d DUDE :P )