Facebook - Breaking down a barrier of communication

Now that my folks are on FACEBOOK, I've got to be extra careful on what I post and more importantly to filter photos and comments on my status updates. My dear friends.. please think twice before you comment on my status update :D

Mum has made some real good friends with women in her age group since she joined FACEBOOK in 2006. Farming and fishing virtually is a fun filled activity she enjoys besides her usual Tanjore painting and sketching. Some of her friends actually came over and stayed with us for a couple of days. These were complete stranger whom she had never met and yet bonded as like little girls playing with their barbie dolls. Gossiping about mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law is a such a nice way to unwind ( I'm going to get thrashed for this !!)

Dad has been on FACEBOOK for two months and he is really thrilled. Connecting with friends from school, college and the Academy, he couldn't have asked for sweeter networking application - meeting friends whom he last saw in vest and shorts and now.. they have grandchildren !! 

My dad having served the tour of duty in Sri Lanka during the IPKF operation, never spoke about it. He only mentioned the scenic beaches and the beautiful country side. Only a photo album of snaps clicked in Jaffna, Trincomalee and Batticaloa remain. Every time I treaded the topic, he would digress. However, this afternoon I was chatting with him on FACEBOOK and he asked me to download a documentary on Sri Lanka's war with LTTE. One thing lead to another and we started talking about his stint. He told me lots of stories and the realities of war coupled with the effect it has on human psyche. I realized that he had typed so much.  This was the first time that he spoke about his 6 months stint  in a land where he speaks Tamil just like them !! Soon, it became intense and I felt goosebumps all over my arms.

I logged out and headed back home. It dawned to me that Facebook had actually broken down a barrier and opened a new line of communication. I may have never gotten to know the realities of war, stories of bravado, the feeling of your buddies die in your arms and other war related atrocities. 

Oh Mere Chacha THE great !!

 As promised, my blogpost on Chacha!

We meet countless people in our lifetime. Few characters stand out and stay etched in our memories. One such person in my life is Chacha.

I first met Chacha on my first day of class during my MBA. We all had to get a SIMS CUT from the nearby saloon. Every fresher on campus looked like a soldier. Eventually, our hair grew back to normal length and yet Chacha resembled a soldier. He was a true Jawan. A very quiet and unassuming bumpkin from Kanpur, he led a peaceful life on campus. Well.. at least the others thought so. It is only the inner circle (I called our mob of 8 as bakchods ) who knew his true colours and cruel intentions. Although I knew Chacha from our first semester days, our true bonding started at the beginning of third semester.

My first and the most memorable action sequence with the Stallion ( Another name for Chacha but that story for another blog) was during a drunken Saturday night. It was the peak of summers and Pune was reeling under acute water shortage. No water to wash one's arse after the big job !! Everyone was like ,"To heck with the water problem.. Let's have some Rum." It was a long night that stretched into the dawn. One of us (He's another funny character with a wonderful gift to paint) started talking about his prowess in bed. He described in detail about how he made love ! Chacha took a deep puff from the cigarette and spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, " Arey !! Tumhaara jitne baar khada nahi hua..utni baar hum laundiyoon ke saath masti kar chuke hain." What ensued was a massive laughter riot with yours truly leading the pack. Our Director summoned the warden to bring order in the house. After hearing such a statement, our painter had no comeback.

His one-liners would humble any poet or satirist. Using explicit and pure Hindi one-liners, he came up with such outlandish and relevant proverb. There was no comeback.. ZILCH !!

He is a man of routine. Washed his cloths everyday and kept the room clean. He would religiously go out everyday to our tapri for Chai, Dhokla and Chota Goldflake. He had a place for everything and everything was in the designated place and I'm sure to this day he keeps it the same way.

Some people have rotten luck. Chacha and Indian Railways were always at loggerheads. After numerous failed attempts to successfully board a train, he reached the station by 5 PM  to catch a train at 7:30. Well... the train had already left that morning !!The scheduled departure was at 7:30 AM. He came back dejected, had a couple for beers and hit the sack. He had missed the train to be at home for Diwali.

When it came to surprises, Chacha was the man ! He would delight us with a cigarette when everybody in the hostel was out of smokes or herbs! He won a bet against another bakchod after he produced 32 Classic Milds. The bakchod had to strip down since he and the rest of us never imagined he could produce 32 Classic Milds at 2 AM and hence blindly placed the bet. Chacha hid cigarettes in such bizarre places in the room. His room mates had no clue and could never find cigarettes even though they had access to all his stuff.

When he sits on the laptop to play CounterStrike, it's insanely funny. His dream is to do IISSSNNAAIIPPERR Headshot. He'll be at the controls and the room would be intense. He would crack another of his one-liners and the whole CS team has to halt since his one-liner would leave you in splits. 

Besides all the comedy, he is a wonderful human being. Ever helpful and big hearted lad. You can read about his human side on my other blogpost (Eerie Moments Part 1)

Cheers to our one and only Chacha.

Types of travellers aboard Indian Railways

Indian Railways, one of the largest employers in the world provides service to one and all. Each one of you reading this blog would have used the services of Indian Railways at some point in your life. Travelling in the AC III tier coaches while traversing the length and breadth of the country is a wonderful experience. One meets wonderful individuals and families. As the son of an officer from the Indian Air Force, we got posted to obscure place on the Indian map. Summer vacation to Chennai and Coimbatore from Jorhat involved changing two trains and 3 days of travel. I observed many people during these long journeys and continue it to this day with regular travelling in my current job. I have classified certain section of passengers. I'm sure you would have met the following people at least once during your train rides.


Joint Family

At least 6 people and will certainly include the following - Bald headed father, mother with a humongous back, son, his wife and a cranky toddler with runny nose who keeps running along the length of the coach and his sister. They would have packed all their three meals. The kid starts crying post 10 pm everyday and the whole family earns the wrath of the co-passengers. The sister would be a pretty lady and eye candy for the men in the coach.


A Lone Wannabe Guy with a Laptop and Small suitcase

Would be wearing oversized Woodlands shoes, Reebok T-shirt and addidas trackpants ( Yes, they are fake and hence addidas ). Changes his berth as soon as he boards the train since the fat old aunty can't climb the upper berth. He would again have to change his berth because some family wants him to adjust. Invariably gets transffered to another coach and settles into a side upper berth. Mans the electricity socket as though his life depended on it. Watches movies on laptop while he munches his kurkure and would sleep when the laptop is switched off.


Ticketless Dude

He gets into the train and parks himself on a seat. Places his bag on the upper berth. Mind you, he doesn't have a ticket - Not even RAC or a wait listed ticket. Arms himself with a INR 100 note and is on the prowl looking out for the TTE. At night, he opens his bag and goes out near the bathroom to have a swig of Old Monk. Lo behold !! RPF busts his ass. He has to shell out 300 bucks now and the cops take away his bottle. Gets a berth at the fag end of the train journey.


Lone Woman

A bespectacled spinster in her early 20's. Acts like a stuck-up snobbish virago. Adjusts her kurta and dupatta every 30 seconds. She believes that every guy in the coach is a hardcore lecher whose prime objective is to get into her panties. She takes her handbag every time she goes to the loo. To avoid eye contact and conversation, she keeps looking out of the window, even if it is 9 PM.


Old Fat Uncle

A big pot-bellied man in his late 50's or early 60's. He is HUGE. His palms would be the size of a quarter plate. Snores like a foghorn. He would eat anything and everything that every vendor has to offer. After this, he lets out a huge burp and the whole coach would know the menu. 

Where do we go from here ?

Most of the people on my generation don't have the balls to follow their passion. Heck .. only few know passion.. the fruit ! Since when has working for Infosys become your dream ? or just getting a seat in IIT Powai ? Nobody wants to be fighter pilot and touch the sky with glory ? How about helping the country win a gold medal in Olympics? If you were good at music, why not pursue it to earn your bread and be happy ? The truth - Passion is dead and we killed it! You, me and everyone soul living in this cynical society !

As a kid, either your parents or friends crush the seed of your dreams and passion. Even before it could germinate. Now, you as a parent want your kid to follow YOUR dream and not his (or her dream ). You might even ask them to tread a safe path of being an engineer, doing a MBA from reputed B-School ( What on Earth is reputed? Who grants them reputation. My two cents... IIT's and IIM's are not reputed Institutions. This would need another blogpost ) and then becoming a banker ?! Why do engineering? The kid could have done a lot better had he/she done a course aligned with the area of interest. One the main reasons why India rots at the lower echelons of UN's Human Development Index is Indians laugh at a potential farmer, an aspiring teacher or professor and we kill the child inside these people. You see, a child is careless and not scared to do as the mind goes about the work. We pump out electrical engineers and turn them into enterprising pimps.

Why are we failing as parents, as humans? You blame the system and want to change? Well...You are the system and let the change begin from self. Be rather than to seem

Annoying Part I

Below is the breed that sends my blood surging to my head, makes me slap my forehead and take my shotgun out of the closet..


Peeping Toms - These people have this insatiable hunger to peep at the drop of every hat. Their favorite haunt is into your computer screen just as you are checking your email in office or booking a train ticket. "Abey !! 243 waiting list hai. Teri ticket pucca confirm nahi hogi. Mein apne dad ke friend se baat karta hoon." Know what... BEAT IT BIAATTCCHH !!! Your two cents in your arse. I'd rather cancel my ticket and walk all the way to Delhi than listen to you bragging about your good-for-nothing networking skills. You better be watching your drawers in office than watching your neighbour's screen coz yours truly might soon lay a baby Boa Constrictor in between your files.


PDA - Trying to feel your girlfriend's ass ,which in first place is a BLOODY HUGE pile of protoplasm, is not funny. Think about the public who must this watch gory act of lovemaking...those tiny ones who walk around the mall while you are digging into the Desi Queen Latifah. What about your girlfriend? Imagine the agony she feels while you are on ecstasy. Really dude !! Get a Rs 350/day 24 hours checkout lodge near the Bus stand that have blood stained bedsheets and bed bugs. Most likely.. a grainy 3.2 mpx video of your cute act would pop-up on websites of tamilsex and desibaba ( wait.. does desibaba still exist? Been a while since I checked the website..hmmm )


Poser Smokers - These breed will suck the smoke out of your lungs. Your cigarette ? Heh.. He/she already snatched it as soon as you lit it. Never the one to buy smokes, these hyenas are so annoying...I'd rather take the lit end of the cigarette and stub it in their eyes. Dude... Wills Goldflake is 5 bucks !! Damn !! Just buy it and smoke. I wonder if they ever smoke alone as they are hand-partying with their fantasies !!

Eerie moment Part - I

Last exam ( hopefully I clear all my papers ) of my MBA and as I submit the paper to the invigilator, the adrenaline rush is overwhelming. As per plan, 2 BHK was supposed to get some London Pilsners a.k.a LP's to the room right after exam and more importantly, the culmination of the 2 year paid vacation. We will get back to 2 BHK a little later.

I meet my girlfriend near the cafeteria just like we did after every exam since Sem 1. I tell her my plans. As usual, she's cool and tells me to have a good time. So I run back to my room. The family is already waiting and good to go. Adi takes out his car while Chacha takes my bike. 6 of us packed like sardines in the Maruti Swift and tripping on the Hate Song, we reach the calm cool confines of Sheetal. Having picked up our LP, we head to Palone and start the chugs. The heat was on.

2 BHK were two rooms in the hostel known for their green ideologies which helped yours truly secure a job in a leading Carbon Consulting firm. Countless gifts of Maggi given by the Old Monks talking mildly under the red bulb sun, these two rooms were testimony to fun, frolic, insanity, havoc with Fit attacks, discuss throw competition with empty beer bottles, double entendre dialogues in Marathi with the Dictator ..err Director (Dada Khondke would be mighty proud with us), guitar jams, erotic art and most importantly... lots of grey cell stimulating conversation. However, what happened that day during some beer sipping left me with ambivalent feelings.

So yeah... One bottle down and we weren't satisfied. Chacha (He's the man... hell he deserves another blog post) answers his call of duty and heads back to get some more. As we chat, a kid not more than four.... maybe five walks to me and tugs my pant. She wanted the bottle. Stupified.. I looked in horror. Pretty soon, I realized she wanted the empty bottle. It was a no-brainer. Her ragged cloths and cracked heels screamed MONEY. Money she could get with those empty beer bottles traded with the Raddhiwalla.

Chacha is back in no time with the second crate of LP. We start chugging as a goods train chugs along the railway track closeby. By now, the little girl watching us has company. In no time, her pals-in-rags eye our bottles. They sense hostility from our end. However, we had none and empty our bottles. The good old habit of throwing the beer bottle is curbed. The bottles are passed to the children. Adi starts chattering in Marathi with the kids. Seems their folks had gone out for daily wage work and the kids were on their own.

Chacha heads back on the bike for a third time. However, no beer bottles this time when he returned. Armed with a dozen guavas, some snacks and chips, he distributes it equally amongst the kids who clearly show signs of Kwashiorkor and Rickets.

Soon, we head back to our 2 BHK for a much needed siesta. With Colin Edwin's basswork in the background, I wonder what provoked Chacha. Having known him for two years, I had never seen this side of him. Our conversation revolved around our lives, women, music, films and where we were headed after MBA. What he did that day, left me speechless and confused.

It was a strange feeling that I can't explain. Perhaps, I can never put it in words. With the sickening poverty rates in our country, we don't know how much difference this post makes. That day, the small act from Chacha made a difference to those kids on that day nonetheless.

Sexual Harassment - A Different Story

As I switch on Winamp and listen to the Frank Zappa classic instrumental "Sexual Harassment at workplace" my thoughts go back to this much debated subject.

Hang him !!! He deserve to DIE !!

The above statement is true for a man called DIG Rathore a.k.a Ruchika's rapist and murderer. However, media and in turn society perceives all MEN = RAPISTS

Agreed there are some psychotic guys who believe in getting the sacred Punaani by force rather than earning for it or paying. They make cheesy comments at women - be it road, workplace, educational institutes or places of worship.

However, the media never reports how men are sexually harassed. Try calling a lady SEXY at workplace in the morning. In about 15 minutes, you would be giving your exit interview. But a woman can do that to a guy.

There have been cases of women harassing their husbands with threats of suicide. Slashing their wrists and reporting to the Police. The reason... He refused to buy her a jewelry set. I'm not kidding !! This happened to my colleague from office. Is this is sexual harassment or blackmail ? I don't know.

Sexual Harassment is prevalent in our society and this not just confined to men abusing women verbally or physically. It does happen the other way around as well.