Abuse / Gaali / Ketta Vaarthai / Therri - Power of abusive language

• Walking on the roads after heavy overnight showers, an unassuming office-going champ on this Hero Honda Splendor ( Still called splendor after the company became Hero MotoCorp? In your face you short Nipps...Mother Nature just had an orgy with your islands) hits a pot hole. Brown stains on your face and cloths. 
• Buying a ticket and boarding an EMU from Guindy. After alighting at Santorium, you plan to run to the two-wheeler stand and reach home just in time to catch every ball of Chennai Super Kings slaying Victoria Bushrangers. However, the train zips past Tambaram Sanatorium and it's only then you realize that you got into a Super Fast.
• The Grand Finale of India's Got Talent. The only time at home when the family doesn't fight over remote control... and Wham !! Power cut.
• Drinking with friends in your hostel room and one of your buds zonks out on your bed... 25 mins later... gurgling sounds and the complete menu of the evening on your bed. 
• A slow moving car in front of you that doesn't speed up or give you way. You can have Air horn or a fog horn installed in your car. As you overtake and look in the rear-view mirror, all you see some knuckles on the steering wheel. 

Different dialects of Punjabi - Pathankot to Bhathinda, Malayalam - Kasargod to Trivandrum, Tamizh - Chennai cheri to KK or good old English, we indulge in liberal use of female anatomy, acts of incest, Oedipus complex and baby making process when we are involved in one or more of the above scenes.

At times, I wonder why humans use abusive language. Soon, I realized it is all about impact. When it's about wanting to make a hard hitting point, abusive language reigns at the highest echelons of human communication. Unless you are a Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill or Adolf Hitler, no one would listen to you until you throw in a couple of F's and B's. 

Let us look at a few situations where abusive language will certainly prevail over white collar language and help making a difference to humanity and society  :

Making a Sales pitch :

As a sales guy, there are occasions when I'm tongue-tied. "Mr Krishnan, what we offer you is fucking awesome. You will not be disappointed." If I could add these lines to my sales pitch, I can close more sales deals, achieve over 100% of my target YoY, get a raise and a promotion. Everyone is happy.

Helping your near and dear ones deal with a break-up 

The guy has been dumped by the woman. All along you knew she was a bitch. Yet, you kept quiet ( Friend oda aalu macha ). Now you've got the full monty to go ahead and break the truth your friend. Choose your words carefully. "Dude !! I told you. She is a bitch of the first order. Sonnathu kettaiya ?! Antha tevadiya mundam ellam orupadaave orupadaathu. Let's buy some beer and watch Curvy Girls. Beshtu macha aathu.. watha !! chancey illai."

Boosting the morale of your sales team 

Inflation is ever increasing. Government keeps increasing Repo and Reverse Repo rates. Clients are not giving you repeat orders. Competition on the rise from new players. Government keeps tweaking the policies. Vice President,  Marketing and Sales calls you into his cabin and asks you for the numbers !! You swallow hard and call your sales team into the conference room. "Bhenchod !! Kya kar rahe ho tum log ? Sales kar rahe ho ya maa chuddha rahe ho ?!  Prakash !! Tum to baatein bahut choddhte ho ! Sales karo nahi to tumhaari gotiyaan VP le lega ?! Commmon boyz !! Let's rock and role. If the team achieves 100% sales, we'll go to Thailand and indulge in some sick stuff ! I know you boys well. You are the best out there in the industry. Let's show the VP that we've got balls of steel. "

Tell the HR that she ain't doing community service

"Madam !! You are not going me a favour. This is your KRA. You oughta do this ! Go hit the markets and you'll realize what we go through everyday. Stop sitting on your dandy ass and process my outstanding dues. We earn revenue for the company. You are simply a fucking ancillary service. Stop fucking around with my head. Don't tell me to refrain from using non-parliamentary language on the office floor. I can bloody well roll my sleeves considering this outfit of yours looks like a nighty my grannie sports at home."

Use the power of abusive language. It is hard-hitting and does make an impact. Don't abuse it.. yeah ?